Have you ever marveled at that elderly couple who still hold hands and appear to be very connected?

How did they survive all the ups and downs that can threaten even the best marriages?

 

What's the secret to their success?

 

 

Marriage is a lot more like a marathon than a sprint and these habits are exactly the kind of gear that can help couples overcome the roughest terrain.

 

• Hold Hands Often.

Don’t ever underestimate this quiet little PDA. Your skin remembers and archives both positive and negative touch. This is a great way to deposit more love into your “merrymaking” memory bank. 

 

• Notice The Good Stuff

I often tell couples that they need to be strength detectives in their marriage. If you want a great relationship you need to be searching for and amplifying all the good stuff. When conflict arises it often obscures all the things you really love about your partner. So be on the lookout for the things you appreciate and make sure you communicate this to your partner.

 

• Don’t Be Afraid of a Good Fight 

Wise couples know that fights are part of the landscape of any great marriage. These couples don’t avoid conflict. They stay engaged even when it gets messy. The key is to develop the tools to resolve the conflict in a healthy way. When you have these tools there’s no need to run from conflict because you know that conflict can actually help you grow closer together. As you listen and understand each other in a deeper way, the bond that connects you becomes even stronger.

 

• Regularly Carve Out Quality Time Together. 

Just like a delicate flower needs water to survive, a great relationship  needs a regular dose of good old fashioned fun to thrive. You need to consciously and intentionally make time for quality connection. This could mean snuggling up to watch your favorite TV show together, a leisurely walk around the neighborhood, or dinner at your favorite restaurant. Be creative and do it regularly.

 

• Don’t Forget the Sex.

Sex can connect the two of you in a way unlike any other. It’s a physical reminder that your love is still alive and well, even if it gets forgotten from time to time. Having sex helps relieve stress. It releases endorphins and other hormones that make you feel good. Most importantly, sex is fun and having fun is an essential ingredient in any healthy relationship.

 

• Make Time For Yourself

Healthy couples have a healthy connection, but they also make room for that all important “me” time. This could mean going out with your friends, enjoying a relaxing message, or shooting some hoops at the local gym. Cultivating this time allows you to take ownership of your own well-being and happiness which is empowering for you and the relationship.

 

A great relationship doesn’t just happen. It requires two dedicated people who decide to invest the time and energy to make it happen!