I love this time of year with it’s beautiful array of flowers and wonderful sunshine. All the birds are back from their winter retreat. But what captivates me the most are the butterflies.

Butterflies, to me, signify the hope of change and transformation. 

This change, however, doesn’t have to be dramatic to be significant.

Have you ever heard of the Butterfly Effect? The phrase refers to the idea that the flutter of a butterfly's wings can create tiny changes in the atmosphere that may even alter the path of a tornado in a far away land.

A very small change in a physical system can make a significant difference at some later time and place. 

The idea is that small steps can eventually lead to big change. 

Sometimes our intimate relationships can feel like tornados and the obstacles can feel insurmountable. This can be frustrating and often we feel powerless to change. Maybe we can learn something from these tiny creatures.

It's amazing that these delicate butterflies can make such a big impact on the world. Imagine what impact each of us can make if, instead of blaming our partner for causing the storm, we focus on making a small change in our own behavior that could prevent it.

Marriage is like a delicate dance. It has a certain rhythm to it, and each of us contributes to that rhythm for good or for bad. 

It’s so much more empowering to take responsibility for our steps in this dance. 

You'd be surprised to discover how much power you have when you own your own stuff.

This week try taking the focus off of what your partner is or isn't doing, and be that loving presence you so desire. Make this tiny shift and see the positive impact you create.

Now - this is not about condoning bad behavior and allowing it to continue. It's about examining the situation and asking, "What part of this do I have the power to change?" "What's the loving response?"

So, let’s learn from these butterflies by taking small steps toward the change you want to create. 

What is one thing you can do this week that may bring some happiness into your partner's life. 

It could be doing a chore you know they hate to do, or telling them how great they look today.

It might be a little love note or even a loving glance - any gesture that may bring more loving energy into your relationship. And be creative! 

You might even have some fun along the way...