Ever feel like you and your spouse are having the same argument—again and again? The words might change, but the tension and frustration are all too
familiar.
Here’s the thing: conflict isn’t the real problem. It’s how we see the conflict—and each other—that can keep us stuck or help us move forward.
So, what if you could shift your perspective and see things through your partner’s eyes for just a moment? That simple act can turn a standoff into a breakthrough.
3 Ways to Shift Your Perspective and Resolve Conflict
Practice the
Pause. When you feel yourself getting heated, try pausing—even for a few seconds. Take a breath and remind yourself: "This is my partner, not my opponent." That tiny space can make all the difference.
Get Curious, Not Critical. Instead of jumping to defend your position, ask your spouse, “Help me understand what you’re feeling right now.” Listening deeply—without planning your comeback—can reveal what’s really going on beneath the
surface.
Switch Shoes. Imagine how the situation looks from your partner’s side. What might they be needing or afraid of? Sometimes, the real issue isn’t the dirty dishes or the late text—it’s feeling unheard or unappreciated.
These perspective shifts are at the heart of Imago Relationship Therapy, which
I use every day with couples who want to break out of old patterns and create new ways to connect.
If you find yourself stuck in the same old arguments, you’re not alone. The good news is, change is possible—one loving step at a time.
If you’d like to talk about how to bring more understanding and peace into your marriage, I invite you to schedule a Discovery Session with me. Sometimes, a fresh perspective is all it takes to start moving forward together.
If you know one person who could use a new perspective on conflict, consider forwarding this email to them. And if you’d like more tools and support, you’re always welcome to explore the Love Your Marriage Community.
